Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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