dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize