walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
