Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
home. puking in laundry basket.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
