I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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