i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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