I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
