is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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