I looked at my own cervix.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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