it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
