It's Friday. Sex?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
