I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
