Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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