Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
God, I missed his penis.
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