Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
