If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
