Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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