Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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