Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
