I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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