You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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