i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
