So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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