i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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