Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
