That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
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Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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