Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
