I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
you never un-have a 4some
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
