im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
