you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
