You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
