Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
