so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
