you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
