we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
