Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
