Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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