how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it glows. i had to have it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
