he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
