quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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