Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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