Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
