I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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