My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize