I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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