We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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