Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
