i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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