Don't make out with my wife yet
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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