Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm