Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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