Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dick very happy bro