So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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