I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize