I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
