Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize