A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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