Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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