Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
