There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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