I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Congratulations! We have a period
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